Rip Van Winkle. And Some Subtle Hints in the Bathroom.

Check this out people. Two days in a row with a post. Three business days in a row if you count Friday’s post and my standard of not posting on the weekends. Wow. Don’t know what I owe this honor to, but at least I’m getting some thoughts down.

It’s kind of therapeutic. Writing. In general. It doesn’t even have to be good. It doesn’t even have to really be about what’s really on my mind. I just find myself gaining clarity and feeling better about the constant battle in my head between sane thoughts and idle demonic chatter, when I’m writing. Maybe the whole idea of clearing out the nonsense through a simple blog like this, allows me to truly think about what’s important more easily when I do propose to sit and reflect.

Now that I’ve walked you in a complete circle of what-the-hell-is-he-talking-about…..

*Rip Van Winkle.*
He slept for what, 20 years in the original story? Fable? Folk tale? Or a 100 years. Who cares, the point is that Mrs. HokieJayBee and I got rid of one Rip Van Winkle aspect of our lives last night. I don’t know why we were hiding under that rock for so long, but we were. So we woke up from our extended slumber and wandered back into town, just like Rip. And you should too, if you haven’t.

Go see Avatar. Now. If you haven’t, go see it now. Leave work. Get a sitter. Skip your meeting. Skip dinner. Go see it. Now.

It is absolutely the most ridiculously well done movie I’ve seen in a LONG time. The story is predictable to a point, but aren’t 99.9% of movies anyways? When a movie like Sixth Sense or Seven or the original Saw comes out, isn’t it the abnormal movie to have a surprise rather than the norm? So Avatar’s predictability didn’t bother me at all. I was too lost in the world James Cameron built. The scenery, the storyline working into said scenery (literally), and the action scenes are just – I hate to repeat a word – RIDICULOUS. It is an amazing movie.

Go see it now*. Seriously, you’ll thank me.

*This is also based on the assumption that the rumors that Mrs. HokieJayBee and I were the only warm blooded Americans over the age of 12 that had not seen it yet, are not true. There’s bound to be a couple other people pulling a Rip Van Winkle. Right? If you are one of those few remaining people, go see it.

*Subtle Hints in the Bathroom.*
Mrs. HokieJayBee and I have been together for almost 12 years, and married for almost 8. All couples get to that point, you know, where you, uh, um, have no shame.

There’s even Man Laws about it. One of which states that, as a man, you cannot flatulate in front of a woman until you’ve gotten her to climax. And, that if you do flatulate in front of her, she is now officially your girlfriend. And, continued, if you do so while at the same time trapping her under any sort of sheets or blanket, you are either already married to her, or you inherently just proposed to her through actions. And she is allowed to take it as such.

This is serious stuff people. I mean, you know that point where you shower in front of each other, not intimately. Or even shower together, purely for speed and efficiency, with zero intimacy. Yeah, that sucks. Then of course there’s the whole peeing in front of each other, and closing the door when you do so becomes optional. Or heaven forbid, even dropping the deuce in front of your spouse. Or even being in the shower for work in the morning, and your spouse comes in to drop said deuce, while you’re in the shower, and then hits you with the scalding-hot-water-after-toilet-flush-shower? And the stinky-humid-shower-bathroom air? Love is such a vile beast.

So, you see where I’m going. As a couple, certain boundaries and walls of privacy become non-existent. That’s fine. It’s a natural progression of comfort with your mate I guess.

In our relationship, there’s also the subtle, or sometimes not so subtle, hints that happen in the bathroom too. Mrs. HokieJayBee uses the corner of our bathroom counter, near my sink, to remind me of things, or give those hints. She’ll leave items for me on the corner that I need to use, whether I knew it or not. She doesn’t put maintenance items here. I’m not so incapable of self-sufficiency that I need her to put my toothbrush or my deodorant there. This special reminder spot is more for non-normal needs.

[1] Nail Clippers – pretty self explanatory. I bite my nails too often, so this won’t usually be because I need a trim there. It usually follows a time where maybe I complained about a certain cuticle or maybe I scraped her legs to the bone at night in my sleep with a razor sharp toe nail. When I find the nail clippers in the reminder spot, I simply check all 20 appendages for sharp edges, make any trimmings necessary, and put the clippers back in the cabinet.

[2] Hair Gel – exiting shower, hmmmm, hair gel in the reminder spot. We must be going out to something nice. I should gel my hair a little. And probably put on a collared shirt. Oh yeah, we’re going to get lil HokieJayBee’s pictures done, and we’ll take a family shot too. Thank you Honey!

[3] Steel Wool or a Sponge of some sort – my turn to clean the shower. Roger.

[4] Medicine – see previous post(s). I don’t take medicine. Unless of course there’s some in my reminder spot on the bathroom counter. Whining too much about my back and legs after a flag football weekend? Advil on the counter. 8 days into a 10 day run of antibiotics, where your attention is waning and you’re not following the perfect every 8 hour dosage because you’re not sick anymore and why am I still putting these chemicals in my body? She knows better. And you need to finish out the recommended dosage. Either way, medicine in the reminder spot gets taken.

[5] Q-Tips – see, I said that the reminder spot isn’t for maintenance items. I guess maybe she saw a need and left me a subtle hint? Sorry honey. Maybe I just have some dry skin in there. Yeah. That’s it. Just a patch of dry skin. Nothing else to read into suggested Q-Tipping.

[6] Mouthwash – ouch. I’ll get right on that.

And finally,

[7] Tweezers – ummmmmmm. I’m still lost on this one. I usually do a cursory check of the shoulders and upper arms for a freak hair that might need a yanking. Maybe check between the eyebrows to make sure I haven’t gone too far Cro-Magnon. And calmly put the tweezers away. Maybe she was using them and accidentally just left them there. Yeah. Probably nothing to look into when your wife leaves tweezers for you on the reminder spot. Nothing weird at all. At least I hope I haven’t missed anything that tweezers would be used for.


NOTE TO ALL NORMAL READER(S) OF THE BLOG:
Please ignore the following “paragraph”. I read an article online and I just wanted to test a couple theories it posed.

Megan Fox nude. Kobe Bryant. Twilight. Harry Potter. Lebron James. Hurt Locker. Dances with the Stars. Huge Tits.