As per usual, go check out my week 11 NFL newsletter over at
-----> Beer Control Offense <-----
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Things That Bug Me, Dress Pants
So this week I turned from early 30’s to early 30’s + 1 more. I had a great birthday. On the weekend, Momma HokieJayBee made me my favorite meal of all time, her meatloaf. Then on my actual birthday night, Mrs. HokieJayBee went and bought steamed crab legs for dinner. Yes. Yes. And Yes. The women in my life are doing pretty well for their respective reputation meters.
Besides that, the Redskins actually won a game for a change, and beat a Bronco team they had no business beating. I thank them for a gift too.
And my Hokies stomped a mud-hole in the Maryland Terriblepins. Not a surprise so I can’t say it was a birthday gift but I’ll take it.
Awesome story Jay. Shut up brain. I’m just setting up a little background and such. Uh huh, dress pants? Ok.
So I got a new pair of dress pants for my birthday too. They were needed, for work and such. So I’m thankful for them. They’re pretty sweet. Ralph Lauren. Charcoal colored. They’re comfy. They look nice.
And, they BUG THE HELL OUT OF ME.
At least, if you’re headed to the bathroom and you, uhhhhhhhh, don’t have a lot of time.
Counting a belt (which you always wear with dress pants), there are five things to undo to be able to drain your lizard or drop your kids off at the pool.
Yes. 5.
Belt. Internal overlap button. Main metal slide. External overlap button. Zipper. 5. Things.
It is not a quick ordeal, if you’re trying to not rip stuff.
So I warn you, should you be the owner of a sweet new pair of dress pants, ensure you leave yourself plenty of undo-device-time when you need to head to the baffruum.
Friday, November 13, 2009
HokieJayBee's NFL Week 10
Week 10's NFL Newsletter is up over at Beer Control Offense.
Go check it out, and have a great weekend!
Go check it out, and have a great weekend!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
People I Hate, Volume 1
So. I hate people. I mean, for a lot of reasons. I truly despise a lot of people. In groups. Careful, careful. Shut up brain, I’m not talking any sweeping prejudices or racism. I’m talking about people. Just the general public. I just hate a large vast majority of people. I don’t care if you’re white or black or green or Chinese or German or Mexican or Catholic or Jewish or whatever. Trashy people are trashy people.
Today’s people I hate: Litterers. From cars specifically.
Seriously? You lazy bastards. Is your car so nice you can’t hold on to that wrapper/cup/box until you get to your next destination? Are you that much better of a person that you can’t be bothered to keep track of your own trash? I’m willing to bet you more money than you have that where you’re driving to has a trash can. You pieces of crap.
And you’re the trash that whine that your government doesn’t do enough for you, aren’t you? You with your amazing 1995 Honda Civic, part red, part rust, one blue quarter panel. You with your tendencies.
Don’t judge me. Judge these pieces of crap.
I guess bases a lot of my angst at a certain level of person in our society based on the actual content of the litter……you can tell a lot about people by their trash?
Most littered material that I see:
7-11 hot dog boxes. Quality meal in a rush. Add fake nacho cheese and processed Chili. Inhale in 3 bites. Toss box on side of road.
Budweiser 12 pack boxes, cans and bottles. Seriously. Because we were driving around drinking anyways. Don’t want to get caught with evidence if I get pulled over for my broken taillight and expired inspection sticker?
McDonald’s cups and wrappers. Again, quality eaters here. Can’t be bothered with that trash from dinner on the way around town. I’ll just toss it out right here. Someone else will pick it up for me.
I happen to jot down license plates of cars I witness littering. I don’t know what I ever planned to do with the list. Mail it in to a paper on a letter-to-the-editor? Anonymously mail it to the cops/DMV? So, rather than collecting dust in my truck’s glove compartment, here is the list, internet. Here is the dregs of our society, those too good to try and keep a clean city. Those who don’t need to be bothered with their own trash. Not when they can throw it out the window and never think about it again.
(if no state listed, it’s Virginia)
JJK-9032
JVM-8138
EQL-LOVE (rainbow stickers, “equal love”, prior to being granted equality for marriage, quit throwing trash out of your car window, trash is trash, even if they like each other)
VKI-651
JZK-1613
SPJ-8378 (our friends from North Carolina come to town to throw trash on our roads)
100-5937 (so do our friends from New Hampshire, yeah northern trash!)
7051Y
KDR-9455
KEG-4754
P3430 (handicapped plate, because parking up front isn’t good enough, you want people to pick up your trash too?)
TDK-858
JLH-6931
FP-2982 (a fraternal order of police plate, classy!)
512-DTZ (drove all the way here from Texas to toss out your trash? yeehaw!)
Vent complete, thanks for listening.
Today’s people I hate: Litterers. From cars specifically.
Seriously? You lazy bastards. Is your car so nice you can’t hold on to that wrapper/cup/box until you get to your next destination? Are you that much better of a person that you can’t be bothered to keep track of your own trash? I’m willing to bet you more money than you have that where you’re driving to has a trash can. You pieces of crap.
And you’re the trash that whine that your government doesn’t do enough for you, aren’t you? You with your amazing 1995 Honda Civic, part red, part rust, one blue quarter panel. You with your tendencies.
Don’t judge me. Judge these pieces of crap.
I guess bases a lot of my angst at a certain level of person in our society based on the actual content of the litter……you can tell a lot about people by their trash?
Most littered material that I see:
7-11 hot dog boxes. Quality meal in a rush. Add fake nacho cheese and processed Chili. Inhale in 3 bites. Toss box on side of road.
Budweiser 12 pack boxes, cans and bottles. Seriously. Because we were driving around drinking anyways. Don’t want to get caught with evidence if I get pulled over for my broken taillight and expired inspection sticker?
McDonald’s cups and wrappers. Again, quality eaters here. Can’t be bothered with that trash from dinner on the way around town. I’ll just toss it out right here. Someone else will pick it up for me.
I happen to jot down license plates of cars I witness littering. I don’t know what I ever planned to do with the list. Mail it in to a paper on a letter-to-the-editor? Anonymously mail it to the cops/DMV? So, rather than collecting dust in my truck’s glove compartment, here is the list, internet. Here is the dregs of our society, those too good to try and keep a clean city. Those who don’t need to be bothered with their own trash. Not when they can throw it out the window and never think about it again.
(if no state listed, it’s Virginia)
JJK-9032
JVM-8138
EQL-LOVE (rainbow stickers, “equal love”, prior to being granted equality for marriage, quit throwing trash out of your car window, trash is trash, even if they like each other)
VKI-651
JZK-1613
SPJ-8378 (our friends from North Carolina come to town to throw trash on our roads)
100-5937 (so do our friends from New Hampshire, yeah northern trash!)
7051Y
KDR-9455
KEG-4754
P3430 (handicapped plate, because parking up front isn’t good enough, you want people to pick up your trash too?)
TDK-858
JLH-6931
FP-2982 (a fraternal order of police plate, classy!)
512-DTZ (drove all the way here from Texas to toss out your trash? yeehaw!)
Vent complete, thanks for listening.
Friday, November 6, 2009
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