Another Unfortunate Overheard, and Some Hope.

Overheard on Sportscenter the Other Night.
I had Sportscenter on the other night, for a little background noise. I was in the kitchen crafting the boy a peanut butter and jelly masterpiece, with a cup of peaches and some mini-carrots too. My son was playing in the sunroom. He was bouncing back and forth between riding his three-wheeler-scooter-bigwheel-bike-contraption in a circle around the room, and shooting hoops with his mini-indoor-basketball hoop. I would saunter from the kitchen area to steal a quick peek now and then to make sure he hasn’t removed any limbs or donated too much blood to the hard wood floor out there.

So anyways, like I said, Sportscenter was on for some background noise. And it was the hockey segment. There was some Canadian mullet up there talking about the Washington Capital / Pittsburgh Penguin rivalry. (I’m not being rude here, Barry Melrose really has a full on business-on-top-party-in-the-back mullet). He was going on and on about how Pittsburgh is (7-1) against Washington in their last 8 playoff games, but Washington is (3-0) against them this regular season, Pittsburgh has Crosby, Washington has Ovechkin, etc. etc. etc.

Then, mid peanut butter spread (with a KNIFE dammit), he said it. Discussing how good Pittsburgh’s defense is, when all players are healthy.
“Oh man, when everyone is back on the ice, their back end is so good, and it’s so deep.”

Dude, my nearly-three-year-old son is listening. Have some class.


I think I Actually Have Hope for America.
Unfortunately, racial tension still exists in America. And, unfortunately, it exists where I live. I live in a very diverse area. There are some bad parts of town. You can read that how you want, “bad part” can just as much mean the uppity white mansion neighborhood as much as it means a predominantly black downtown government housing area, it depends on the point of view.

There aren’t a lot of blatant racial issues or physical fights, and not a lot of racially toned issues on the news – but it’s there. It’s there in traffic, it’s there in the grocery store, it’s there at the bank, it’s there at the restaurants, it’s there at work. It’s unfortunate, but you can still feel it and sense it sometimes. As a white dude, I have “oh shit” moments all the time and feel bad that someone might even feel made fun of by me and my whiteness, even if I didn’t say anything wrong. It really sucks to be a white dude sometimes.

Rarely would it be, oh man I hope that black/Mexican/Asian/Green/Purple guy didn’t hear what I said – like I don’t have stupid moments of racial-bigotry-emission. But I do have the feeling inside sometimes like, oh man I hope they don’t think we’re talking about them or oh man I wish they knew the context of what we’re talking about. Because when I said, “I chased that motherfucker out of my garage before he could steal that shit”, I meant the neighbor’s cat that I’ve caught in there going at my dog food or biscuits, not some neighborhood [insert race here] kid stealing my bike. Because if I were on my cell at the store and said that quote near a group of [insert race here] kids, I would just KNOW they think I’m talking about them and being all white and racist and shit.

So anyways, about my hope for America. I was out at a restaurant and bar the other night with a friend. We’re both in our 30’s, white, educated, stereotypical business white-guy-shit. We were both in our suit pants from work, with a starched collar dress shirt and all, out for a beer and a couple games of Golden Tee. [if you’ve never played, keep it that way, trust me, it’s like heroin. Not that I know what heroin is like.] We were in the back room of said restaurant, where the Golden Tee machine is, nestled in with the dart boards and pool tables. On the pool table closest to our machine, there was a group of 3 young black guys and 2 young black girls.

They were not dressed in dress pants and starched collars. There were some dreadlocks, some tattoos, some gold teeth, some saggy jeans, some really high leather boots. They literally looked like they just left a video shoot from a BET production.

Which me and my boy E were totally cool with. But there was that tension, right?

I’m an outgoing dude. I broke the ice. I chatted with them between shots. I made fun of the one girl’s jukebox choices. I made fun of the one dude’s straight shot that he missed. They made fun of us, the second we walked in we were destined for the golf game and not pool, they knew by our clothes. We talked some playful trash. Challenged them and kicked the shit out of them in 3 games of pool. Played some more golf. Had a beer with them. Suggested shooters they’d like for the one girl’s birthday they were there celebrating. It was quite an enjoyable ~hour or two at the restaurant. The 7 of us who didn’t belong together, if you were just going on the looks of the group from the outside, if you buy into that tension crap.

When their group went to leave, one guy went to the restroom before leaving. On his way back out, meaning he is now last of his group still back there, he came by to say bye one last time. He walked up, called us by name, and shook our hands. He said thanks. He said thanks for the great birthday we helped give his friend’s girlfriend. He said it turned out way different than he feared when the two white business men walked into the back game room at the restaurant and took up shop on the golf machine next to their pool table. He said it was a refreshing surprise, and he had hope for America. I do too Charles, I do too.

PS - I mean it, I really don’t know what heroin is like.