Is That The Same Finger?

I have a ~half hour interstate commute to work every day. Suffice to say, I see a lot of people and a lot of cars on a regular basis. Combine my Sirius Satellite Radio with my liking of the pastime known as “people watching”, and work commutes aren’t always half bad. I also have a little game I play with myself sometimes. Jay, careful….. Not that brain! I don’t call that a “game”. I like to take a person’s car in, make and model, new or old, condition, stickers, driving style, etc. – and try and predict that person’s demographics, gender, ethnicity, age, etc. – based on their car.

One time, when explaining the rules of this self game to Mrs. HokieJayBee so she could try and understand a little of what goes on in this pretty little headpiece of mine, I played the predictor game out loud for her. After I went 12 for my first 12, she made me stop because she was laughing too hard and I was getting cocky. True Story.

Also, it’s not like I set out to play this “game”. It just happens. Huge Ford Truck, Harley Davidson stickers, truck in pristine condition, driving way too slow in the right lane – white male, early fifties, T-shirt or sweatshirt. Ding ding ding. Late model Kia sedan, no stickers, license plate QTBABY or something similar, driving way too fast and recklessly for the current traffic conditions like we’re in their way – young black female, big earrings, chewing gum, on cell phone. Ding ding ding. That’s just how my head works. I subconsciously start into this game all time when driving.

So anyways, I’m driving to work the other morning. Probably too fast, but I’m always 7 minutes late to work. Don’t know how I do it, no matter how my morning goes I’m always 7 minutes late to work. And besides, how else would I verify my game predictions of people if I wasn’t going faster than them to pass them and verify? So I’m driving to work, predicting away.

Brand new Range Rover smaller SUV, pristine condition, sky blue, just washed, driving fine for current conditions in right lane, two college stickers. You know, the kind where you put your alma mater or where your kids go on the back windshield? These two, Yale and Brown. Well highty tighty hoopty boopty for you Ivy Leaguer! Yale *and* Brown? I’m gonna go with 38-45 white female (the husband would have gotten the bigger range rover and would have gotten dark green), turtleneck, too much make-up, costume-y jewelry, talking on phone but on hand’s free set.

Reality: nailed it. 38-45 white female, not a turtleneck, one of those blouse’s with the enormously too big of a collar sticking out of a normal necked sweater, make-up normal, correct on the too big for her head earrings, and correct on the phone, but she was holding it. Holding it with her head leaning right on her right shoulder. Driving with her right hand. Why so much detail in her body placement?

Because her left hand was up at her face and her left pinky was two knuckles deep in her left nostril.

Is that an Ivy League thing? The Pinky? I mean, we all pick. But a full lean over double knuckle pinky shot? And is that the same finger you Ivy Leaguers leave hanging out in mid-air off of your cosmopolitans?