Abbreviations, Acronyms, and other multi-syllable A words.

If any of you have ever watched a football game with me, no matter who is playing, you know I can get pretty heated. Throw in the fact that one of my teams is playing in the game and heated is not even the right word. Yeah, you’re a nut, and I don’t like the added blood pressure thank you very much. Ahhh, don’t be a wimp!

I can get downright vicious in the stands of a game, a sports bar, or even in my own living room. My angst is typically directed at one of three places.

[1] the officials – standard sports fan fare, yell at the refs for bad calls. They're always bad calls? Well, in my book against my team a bad call!
[2] the other team – again, pretty standard, yell at the other team for being: stupid, ugly, bad, mean, cheaters, dirty, from Miami, or a pansy.
[3] my own coaches – probably pretty nonstandard here, to yell as much as I do at my own coaches. You think? Shoosh. Especially in the college ranks, these are adult men paid to coach and prepare 18-22 boys to be ready to play. I can expect nothing less than perfection from them, at all times, no exceptions. Seems fair. Damn right.

Well, insert one 2-1/2 year old boy into the mix, and my football viewing could be seen as non-proper-parenting. To put it lightly. Geez, who’s side are you on here? Hers. I knew it!

Anyways, I have a couple phrases I like to say (yell) during games, at very specific high tension moments or after a big play. Some of these phrases could be viewed under that list of non-proper-parenting-behaviors.

One specific phrase that comes to mind, typically said (yelled) to the refs after a horrible call against my team, or said (yelled) to my opposing team after my team completes a big play against them – is “SUCK MY BALLS!!!!!” It’s typically not said (yelled) only once, and is usually rambled off in increasing volume until I can’t breathe any more, depending on the meaning of the play and how big of a spot in the game we’re in.

Well, in order to more align me with what would be considered, proper-parenting-behavior, Mrs. HokieJayBee has politely requested that I use Abbreviations and Acronyms in front of lil’ HokieJayBee to shield him from the verbal wrath of watching football with daddy.

This past Saturday, lil’ HokieJayBee’s phrase of the day?

“Mommy! S my B’s!!!!”

[dancing in a circle] “S my B’s, S my B’s, S my B’s, S………………my………….Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s!!!!!”

Nice work daddy.