I wasn’t only not posting because I didn’t have time to write any novellas. It went the other direction too. You see, I was only trying to post when I had some big huge ginormo idea. I didn’t want to post little posts or waste any of the reader(s) time. I would only post when I had something I felt was big enough in both content, and length, to post. So I was trapped to not write short entries because there wouldn’t be as good as long entries, which I didn’t have time to write.
Which is stupid. It’s my little meaningless blog. Who cares if I post a one-liner on a theme-less little itty bitty nitty gritty titty committee blog like this? You see, there’s a constant nature to the crap running through my head. It’s a testament to my memory at all that I can get anything on paper to post to you reader(s). Did you tell them about the Post-It Notes on your desk? You just did. Yeah, I have random little “this could be a blog post one day” yellow stickies all over the damn place.
I’ve got all this crap to write about, none of which deserving of an entire post…….So, in a pallet cleansing effort, how about a smorgasbord post? Enjoy.
*This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse*
The family and I hit up our local grocery last night. And I saw it. The epitome of American laziness. Because having to pour the milk, then squeeze the chocolate syrup, and *then* stir it too? Too much. When you can let some AA batteries do the work for you. Seriously, they have these near the dessert stuff at my neighborhood’s grocery. Yeah, because stirring chocolate milk is for losers.
*This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse, Part Deux*
So I go to ye ol’ Google site to try and search for an image to use above for the auto-choco-stirrer. And I find this site, http://www.chow.com/stories/10184, and someone has written an entire article on other totally useless food-related-kitchen items. Holy crap. What is wrong with you people? I know some of you just ordered the mini-bagel-gloves. I’m ashamed. I also have to admit I never thought I’d be typing the words, mini-bagel-gloves together.
*Life’s Little Victories, FIRST!*
The sad sad state of a life I live? Heading to the work potty mid-morning, to find the light off, and everything still smelling fresh of the cleaning from the night before. Yes! I am the first ass to sit on this seat today! It’s still clean from last night! Totally don’t even have to wipe off the seat! I can just undo the 17 things at the top of my dress pants and sit! Victory. It doesn’t take long to lose this little feeling of victory as the first sitter though, my work’s toilets are filled with cold, deep water.
The sad sad state of a life I live? Heading to the work potty mid-morning, to find the light off, and everything still smelling fresh of the cleaning from the night before. Yes! I am the first ass to sit on this seat today! It’s still clean from last night! Totally don’t even have to wipe off the seat! I can just undo the 17 things at the top of my dress pants and sit! Victory. It doesn’t take long to lose this little feeling of victory as the first sitter though, my work’s toilets are filled with cold, deep water.
*Ok, I’m Lazy, But Not Won’t-Stir-My-Own-Chocolate-Milk-Lazy.*
I realized recently, typing an e-mail for work, that I haven’t hit Shift-I in probably 10 years. Damn you Bill Gates! Damn you to hell with your auto-correct. You have ruined me with your functions that automatically capitalize all my I’s when they need to be! You know you had to hit Shift-I to type this…..Shut Up! They get my point.
*Did He Just Say……*
The VP at my office that I report to is a good guy. He’s a smart guy, a good worker, and generally knows his shit. He’s not my direct manager (don’t really have one in my company’s structure), but oversees many projects here, including mine. I don’t really care to know where he went to school, or how many degrees he has, or anything quantitative like that – but I can safely say he’s an educated man and is a good VP. But he says some stupid shit sometimes. He’s got some sayings he uses at meetings, all the time:
- Vendor proposal, sent in. Reviewed by me or my engineers. Sent back to vendor. Vendor has questions or a new submittal, or even clarifications on the original submittal. “I need you guys to re-review it.” Re-review? Huh?
- Possible new job site information coming in. Maybe haven’t gotten any new information from the prospective client recently. “Any new news from ClientXX?” New news? What?
- Discussing an engineering firm we farm work out to, they are good at two-dimensional CAD work, but not at three-dimensional modeling. “We’re not going to use FirmXX for the isometrics. What they do do well is the P&ID’s.” They do do well? Gross.
I realized recently, typing an e-mail for work, that I haven’t hit Shift-I in probably 10 years. Damn you Bill Gates! Damn you to hell with your auto-correct. You have ruined me with your functions that automatically capitalize all my I’s when they need to be! You know you had to hit Shift-I to type this…..Shut Up! They get my point.
*Did He Just Say……*
The VP at my office that I report to is a good guy. He’s a smart guy, a good worker, and generally knows his shit. He’s not my direct manager (don’t really have one in my company’s structure), but oversees many projects here, including mine. I don’t really care to know where he went to school, or how many degrees he has, or anything quantitative like that – but I can safely say he’s an educated man and is a good VP. But he says some stupid shit sometimes. He’s got some sayings he uses at meetings, all the time:
- Vendor proposal, sent in. Reviewed by me or my engineers. Sent back to vendor. Vendor has questions or a new submittal, or even clarifications on the original submittal. “I need you guys to re-review it.” Re-review? Huh?
- Possible new job site information coming in. Maybe haven’t gotten any new information from the prospective client recently. “Any new news from ClientXX?” New news? What?
- Discussing an engineering firm we farm work out to, they are good at two-dimensional CAD work, but not at three-dimensional modeling. “We’re not going to use FirmXX for the isometrics. What they do do well is the P&ID’s.” They do do well? Gross.
*Products You Might Have Forgotten About*
Recently at the grocery store, it was soda-for-work buying time. And I’ll be damned if the Pepsi products weren’t $5.69 for a 12-pack (I’m a Mt. Dew guy). Ouch. So when that happens, I’ll settle for the Coke products (I can handle Mr. Pibb). Crap, they’re $5.69 too. What the hell is going on? I’ve never been a coffee drinker, and my office doesn’t have any fancy flavored stuff, can’t start now. I guess I’ll put up with the grocery store generic this time. You know, the “Mountain Lion!” or the “Dr. Perky!” stuff. Wait, what, $5.69 too?!?!? What the hell is going on?
Recently at the grocery store, it was soda-for-work buying time. And I’ll be damned if the Pepsi products weren’t $5.69 for a 12-pack (I’m a Mt. Dew guy). Ouch. So when that happens, I’ll settle for the Coke products (I can handle Mr. Pibb). Crap, they’re $5.69 too. What the hell is going on? I’ve never been a coffee drinker, and my office doesn’t have any fancy flavored stuff, can’t start now. I guess I’ll put up with the grocery store generic this time. You know, the “Mountain Lion!” or the “Dr. Perky!” stuff. Wait, what, $5.69 too?!?!? What the hell is going on?
Oh there’s one, $3.79. I’ll get a 12-pack of that. Cool. Royal Crown Cola. Yeah, RC Cola. Didn’t even know they still made it. I’ll gladly be the first to tell you there’s a reason it was cheaper than the generic, and why perhaps I had thought (hoped?) they stopped manufacturing it. Goat piss. Perhaps they *did* stop bottling it and my local grocery store put out some 12-packs they found laying around in the back. Goat piss.
*Movies You Might Have Forgotten About*
So lil HokieJayBee got a Wii for Christmas, and subsequently Daddy HokieJayBee got a new 50” plasma to plug lil HokieJayBee’s Wii into. You’re treading a line of innuendo there, Jay. Shhhh, not that Wii. So anyways, in purchasing the new 50” TV, we chose to sell our old 34” Flat Screen Tube TV on Craig’sList rather than carry it upstairs to be our bedroom TV. It’s 177 pounds and I just wanted it out of the house. Yeah, 177 pounds of TV. I hooked it up to a old DVD player in the front room so that I could demonstrate that the TV is fine to the potential customers that came to take a look at it. I grabbed the top DVD off one of the shelves in the tower to demonstrate the TV. What did I grab? The Matrix. Matrix 1, not that sequel 2 or 3 crap they put out. I hooked it up and started it up to make sure it worked so that I could demonstrate the TV when customers arrived. 45 minutes later Mrs. HokieJayBee wanted to know what was taking me so long to set up the TV………….
